If you’re in a relationship and your partner is always controlling you and watching your every move; it will inevitably become unpleasant. While these behaviors are potentially dangerous, there are numerous other indicators of a controlling relationship that may be more difficult to detect.
Indeed, some individuals may be unaware that they are in a domineering relationship. However, whether or not these behaviors result in more serious emotional or physical abuse, they are nonetheless unhealthy, unpleasant, and harmful.
If you are quick to detect the signs of your partner’s behavior, you may be able to avoid this.
For many people, the idea of a controlling relationship conjures up images of someone who instructs their partner where to go or what they should wear. In addition, dominating relationships contain more sophisticated dynamics than that. A lot of people fall into an unhappy relationship without even realizing it until it’s too late.
It’s not always easy to tell the difference between pure love and a controlling relationship. Indeed, many indicators of a dominating partner can be romanticized in the early stages of a relationship.
In a controlling relationship, there is an unequal distribution of power. Both spouses feel intimidated, uneasy, or guilty because of the way one partner controls the other.
Physical, emotional, sexual, financial, or psychological means might arouse these emotions. If your partner is continuously instilling fear, insecurity, or guilt in you, you may be in a controlling relationship. And exerting power over another person in a relationship is a type of abuse.
Here are 7 signs of a controlling relationship:
When You Make Arrangements Without Them, They Get Agitated:
It’s possible that your partner won’t appreciate it if you make arrangements without them or go out without them. As a result, they may not be able to understand or appreciate your desire for some alone time. Your partner may want to know where you are and who you are with at all times, so they may send you texts and make phone calls to keep tabs on your whereabouts and company.
There are a Lot of Charges of Jealousy:
In order to put you on the defensive, a controlling partner may frequently accuse you of flirting with or cheating with other people while you are with them. They shouldn’t hold you responsible for their former relationships, no matter how terrible they were.
Checking Your Phone and Text Messages:
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, you should always have the right to privacy. Someone who monitors your phone conversations, emails, messages, social media, or personal possessions without your permission violates your boundaries.
They Make You Feel Inadequate:
If your partner makes jokes about you in front of other people, insults your appearance, or constantly pointing out flaws — like the one spot where you forgot to shave your legs or a tiny piece of dust on the floor that you failed to clean — can all be signs that someone is being controlled.
In the long run, repeated criticism can lead to a loss of self-confidence and a desire to avoid criticism.
You’re Always Blamed:
They may assume the victim position right away, blaming you for everything that goes wrong, even if it has nothing to do with you.
You might confront a controlling partner only to discover that they’ve turned the tables on you. You can even find yourself making an apology for something you didn’t realize you needed to apologize for.
In controlling situations, leveling allegations is not always a confession of guilt. They don’t accuse because they’re guilty, but because they believe it’s true.
They Separate You from the Rest of Society:
When you tell stories about other people, they may tune you out or give you an angry face when you answer the phone.
Overt is another option. The amount of time you spend with other people, such as friends or family, may be a source of contention with a controlling partner. They may disparage your family members or accuse them of having a negative impact on you. They also may act in a way that irritates you and your loved ones while they are present.
They can also use a crisis to keep you from making plans with other people, so that you can’t go through with them. When you spend time with others, they may give you the cold shoulder.
A Controlling Partner Makes You Feel Like You’re a Victim:
Controlling spouses will try to “gaslight” you, twisting the truth or your feelings to make you doubt your own reality. For example, if your partner upsets you and you retaliate, they may claim you don’t understand or are too sensitive.
Any one of these indicators, on its own, is unlikely to indicate that you are in a dominating relationship—especially if it has occurred only once. Perhaps your partner experienced a moment of weakness and decided to read an email you had left open on the computer screen.
However, if several of these indications are combined to form a larger controlling pattern, action should be taken before the behavior becomes abusive.
Thank you for your full attention, I greatly appreciate it. I will sum up by saying that attempting to control your partner’s life, feelings, and ability to be themselves reveals more about you than it reveals about them.
You will eventually push them away if you are scared and anxious and need to be able to manage them. You can never have complete control over someone; else, the relationship would eventually fall apart and become abusive and toxic.
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